Saturday, July 31, 2010

from bad to worse

sheesh...everything's getting bad for me...i think i need to muhasabah diri...maybe i did something wrong, that's why everything is screwed for me now...

today's my boss's last day...i thought i'd be happy, but i'm upset...this is too nuts...doesn't make sense that i don't have anyone anymore to lean on or to act as my shield...

my most trustworthy engineer is resigning...i have another engineer to help, he's great, but he's new...my work is now gonna be my work, my boss's work and his work...im freaking screwed...

i don't know if i'm strong enough for this...need to get away and think straight...last thing i wana do is have a family reunion...and that's tomorrow...im supposed to wake up at 5.30am, its 3.12 am now, and i can't sleep...

maybe i shud take monday half day off...maybe ielts results would cheer me up, maybe not...at least its the most promising thing for now...

very unhappy...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

suffocating

i'm tired and hungry...but i chose instead to lock myself in the room...sometimes this mind and body and soul just cant take too much...work is hell, and will always be hell until i could figure out how to better manage i guess...so for the time being, i cope...

you know how wives can nag to hubbies and the hubbies, tired from work needs to listen and tolerate? i know how that feels guys...i felt like digging a hole and stuffing my head into it...especially when this happens when i was damn hungry and was stuffing my head with the first scoop of food...i couldn't dig one, so i left and locked myself in my room...no..i dont have a wife...i have a doting dependent family who gets upset over some dumb family reunion happening this weekend...

kenyir was relaxing...i need more of that...maybe i need to just get away...work and trying to understand my family needs may be too much for me now...